All you need to know when planning a Jersey pub crawl on your bike
Over the years I have pretty much accumulated my required 5 years of Jersey residency at the Rozel Bay campsite, situated in the Northern most Eastern corner of the most beautiful of the Channel Islands (States of Jersey, please take note). In this time I have become somewhat of an expert on the pubs that litter the island, and here I am going to recommend some of them to you.
Jersey has some of the best cycling I have ever had the pleasure of riding, and indeed, the roads are full of those with a similar view. You will see a continual movement of lycra-clad, overly keen cyclists touring the island. I take great pleasure in having a very different purpose to these types — pubs! And instead of lycra, I recommend swimming trunks.
A little background.
Basically, all of the pubs on the island are either owned by Randalls or Liberation. Liberation have the local brewery but by far the fewer of the pubs. Who has the better of the pubs? Hard to say, as both have some winners and some losers. The local brews include Liberation IPA and Liberation Ale and both are light and refreshing. The former a smooth, well balanced, quaffable hopped affair, and the latter a lightly bubbled ale — with just enough bubbles to stop you necking it in one after climbing out yet another Jersey valley or bay.
Now, down to business.
Let’s start with St. Helier. This is where the highest concentration of pubs are found. St. Helier himself was a monk from the 6th century who lived where Elizabeth Castle is now. He was beheaded by raiders (AD 545 I think) and is nowhere to be seen now — possibly because of the lack of decent boozers. The only pub in town worth your time is Randalls Lamplighter.
It can be very noisy on a weekend, with 3 TVs each blaring out a different sport. The rack of around 8 decent real ales (I had Wonkey Donkey most recently) and quality food makes this one busy little boozer. But can you squeeze ale connoisseurs, hungry diners and passionate sport fans into such a small place? Turns out that you can — it’s just a bit of a squash at times!
The two pubs on the Royal Square are popular: The Cock And Bottle and The Peirson, both Liberation. If you’re pushed for time on your bikes then there are much better around the island. If you’ve just done some shopping, then sure. Peirson led the locals to victory in The Battle of Jersey (1781) against the French and died doing so. Expect to find tipsy red-faced tourists here oblivious to the historic events on this square — and I include those filmed for Bergerac here. On the seafront you have The Troubadour of course which is okay for a drink when waiting for a ferry, but probably more of an evening venue for the young town folk.
What about the other pubs in town? For the brave, there are some worth looking at, but these aren’t the sort of pubs you’d take a girl out on a first date to — or order food at! If the Lamplighter is too rammed there is The Prince of Wales Tavern further into town. It has real ales, real locals and you should get a seat. The Office is a rowdy footy pub tucked away just off the harbour — and there is something about it I quite like!
There is a pub around almost every corner in St. Helier, most of which are strictly for locals and I suggest you don’t spend your time in the pubs of St. Helier.
Let’s jump up North to St. Martin. By the church (the proper parish one) you’ll find The Royal. If you’ve cycled up from St. Catherine’s Bay then (well done you!) you’ll be gasping for a refreshing cider. It’s only Stowford Press, but it does the job. I seem to recall something special by Westons here once… but only standard ales on my last visit: Bass, Bombardier etc. etc. and nothing local; must be a Randalls pub. And I can’t recall if it does food, but if it does, I’d give it a go. This pub is alright. Thumbs up here for a good boozer suitable for all.
You can now cycle down into Rozel Bay — and it’s a terrific cruise down. This tiny bay is one of my favourites where you’ll find The Rozel Pub and Dining. Local ales as well as Timothy Tailors Landlord. Food is very good indeed and it’s proper popular with tourists and locals it seems. I wonder how this tucked away pub in the north east corner of the island copes in winter? I like to sit at the bar at this pub. The climb up — either direction — is a bastard.
What happens when you cycle down from here along the East coast? Well, you’ll see some stunning scenery for a start.
Nothing of note to drink for a while though. There is The Dolphin in Gorey if you like Carling (and of course, we don’t) so you ride on. Immediately after The Royal Golf Club there is The Pembroke Hotel. I had a refreshing larger from Guernsey here (Breda) and chatted to a local about Bergerac (amazing) for over an hour (really, we did). This is a big Randalls pub and nothing too special. The locals make it.
A little further on is The Seymour which has relaxing seating outside that almost overlooks the sea. You’re in oyster country now and apparently you can buy them fresh here. *This is the one* to stop in on your way down. St. Clement has one of the largest intertidal zones in the world (up to 12 miles!) so on low tide this looks sensational (or like something from the moon you might say), but also gives locals an excellent opportunity to cook “Jersey Wonders” which can only be cooked on outgoing tides.
You’re basically heading to St. Helier now, cycling past Liberation’s Le Hocq Inn — unless you are particularly thirsty or want a swim? Let’s zoom through St. Helier and go further West. On the way to St. Aubin (pronounced “St O — bins”) there is a recently refurbished Beaumont which is well worth a look in. This is an old, old building (licensed since 1717) and the refurb has targeted the more well dressed drinker. Worth a visit to try one of their gins and to check out their impressive dining room. The cycle from St. Helier to St. Aubin is the easiest on the island, so don’t get complacent if you’re starting here.
Now things start to get proper exciting. We all know about Bergerac, and The Royal Barge. This is actually The Old Court House pub, found in the harbour here.
The same owners ran this pub for around 45 years but recently it was bought by the Liberation group and as a result of a subsequent refurb some of the charm has been lost. The last stocks on the island were removed in the 1850’s, but had they still remained on my visit, the person or persons responsible for the music playing would have been put in them. The food here is excellent and the staff very friendly and attentive. Sadly no Bergerac memorabilia remain here (except the window) but I can tell you where the old management team went….. just over the hill, to The Old Portelet!
The cycle from The Old Court House to The Old Portelet is one of the steepest on the island. You should at least give it a go! Once you’ve done it the once without stopping it’s okay to walk up some of it next time (so I tell myself). The Old Portelet is particularly pretty from the outside. On a sunny day this is possibly the best pub on Jersey to sit and have lunch at. This is a classic English pub amongst 31 hectares of wild common. Walk off your luncheon/beer if you must. And then… it get’s even better!
From here you seek out The Old Smugglers Inn. This is down an thrilling cycle into Ouaisne Bay (one of the hardest to pronounce — “Wayne-A”) and a great place for a swim too. The Smugglers is an island institution, hidden away for the smart locals and the lucky ramblers. I’ve never seen this pub packed and I’d shed a tear every visit to Jersey if it closed down. Just like The Portelet, this is a must on any proper cycle tour.
You can then walk your bike along the beach (if it’s low tide) to St. Brelades (St. Brel-ahhhdes) and ignore all the hotel and restaurant bars there. But do pop into St. Brelades church and The Fisherman’s Chapel to be amazed by stone roofs and medieval frescos, respectively. If you have a spare hour, one of the best swims on the island is here but only accessible by foot in Beauport Bay. If you don’t have time just dig deep and cycle up and out of St. Brelades.
Along the West coast there is not much to drink. This is surfing country with the Atlantic providing the best waves on the island. If you cycled from around the South West corner taking in Corbiere Lighthouse from St. Brelades, then there was a sparse and characterless pub out there, and then one a little better at the start of 5 Mile Beach (which once served as the island’s airstrip).
Randalls pubs often have the same look and feel with the exceptional ones that stand out: The Old Portelet, The Priory and the Lamplighter. One of those from the pack that is okay to stop at on such an important cycle is The Koru Arms at La Pulente. On a hot day they have a cold Breda for you. Opposite there is a really good beach shack for late breakfasts and lunchtime burgers — but the pub food is decent too. And you are also now amongst Jersey’s last sand dunes. It’s actually really nice to pause here. For the stronger muscled and minded, try and cycle the entire length of 5 mile beach (5 miles) to Falkland Fisheries for their lunchtime BBQ and wine. Be warned though, the climb up from there is basically a punishment and consider chartering a ferry or a taxi or anything to take you up and around to the North coast instead.
So let’s continue around to the North then, to Greve De Lecq, where you’ll find the cycle up and down to be breathtaking in different ways. Here are two pubs — one to ignore and one to treasure. The latter is The Moulin de Lecq.
It is the one with the waterwheel that more than once featured on Bergerac. Great choice of beers. Great location. Great garden. Great. This one is owned by the same folk as The Old Smugglers Inn. Liberation make unique ales for both these pubs (you must try both) which leads me to believe these are actually Liberation boozers — and the best of them.
Heading East towards Devil’s Hole (leave your bikes at the top if you want to take a look, they are perfectly safe) there is one of the best Randalls pub on the island — The Priory.
It’s a pub with character in a great setting. People seemed to come also for the food which looked and smelled great. I was shattered at this point — I was missing leg muscles that the Northern bays require — and I downed a Breda in about 2 minutes. The tourists were incredibly impressed.
I should point out that it is very difficult to get intoxicated when doing these cycles. The hills are so challenging, and so relentless, you literally sweat everything out or sober up so quickly from the effort that you can actually safely drink way more than you could if you were doing this around, say, central London.
This takes us on nicely to Bouley Bay. A mere mile long cruise down a magnificent drop — like a race course — to find another island classic: The Black Dog Inn.
This is named after the ghostly dog that drags chains around the bay. Never actually seen I might add, and probably a scare story dating back to the smuggling days when said industry did not want the village folk wandering down to the bay at night and disturbing their fine work. The pub itself is small and dark, a bit like the bay at times. They actually had a Bristol favourite of mine on tap — Butcoombe Bitter! The food here has a good reputation, although my lasagne did not follow a traditional recipe. The bay has some amazing scenery and amazing swimming, plus Mad Mary’s for a proper crispy bacon bap.
This is a cycle tour must. The cycle up is not that bad… it’s probably the longest continual accent on the island, and you feel great once you’ve done it. There are a couple of benches named after people that have died racing on these bends; is Jersey becoming the next Isle of Man? Do be careful cycling down into this bay…. you might see a red squirrel!
Jumping back West again there is another Randalls pub called The Fontaine. I walked in here and saw the beer selection: Carling, Heineken, Bass… pretty much the most uninspired selection on the island. Oh, sorry. They also had “Extra Cold” Heineken (wtf?). Even though this was a characterful building with a nice terrace, I walked out (thirsty).
Just past this is Sorrel Point. It has magnificent views of the cliffs — arguably the most impressive cliffs in the British Isles. I also enjoyed the view over Jersey quarry. I could hear that somewhere near here must be kart racing or motor cross or something.
Finally, let’s hop back to St. Aubin because I forgot one. There we also have The Tenby. I found a Skinners beer here, which was a nice change. The menu also looked decent. Unless you are a die hard Bergerac fan (I am) then consider here over The Old Court House — especially if they are playing music there!
So, that is about it. Don’t let that fool you. There are far more pubs on the island to try — I’ve basically only covered the coastal route around the island. Maybe for a follow up blog I’ll cover the mainland ones?
Hope you’ve enjoyed the read.
Simon
